If You Give a Moose a Bat
Due to tonight's rainout, I assume you are all extremely bored, as am I. I assume you are all familiar with the children's book, "If You Give a Moose a Muffin." Tonight's version will have a bit of a 'Royal spin" on it. Please enjoy.
If you give a Moose a bat, he'll want some pine tar to go on it, so you'll bring him out some of Major Leagues home made pine tar. Once he's finished, he'll want to put more on it, and some more. And when you're all out, he'll step up to the plate. When he steps up to the plate, he'll realize that he's not ready yet, and he'll call a timeout.
When he calls a timeout, he'll notice that his shoes are untied, so he will bend down and tie them. When he bends down to tie his shoes, he'll notice that his bat needs more pine tar, so he'll go to the dugout and get some more. When he's done, he'll want to also get some bubble gum while he's in there.
Then he'll find some bubble gum, and want to put it in his mouth. When the gum is all in his mouth, he'll go back to the plate. Oh no! There's too much gum in his mouth, he'll have to spit some out. Back to the dugout Moose goes.
When he goes back to the dugout, he'll notice that there is a hole in his glove, and he wants a new one for his birthday. He'll add it to his wish list. After he's done with that, he'll go back to the plate, and finally be ready for his at-bat.
When Moose stands up to the plate, he'll stare the pitcher down. He'll get ready for the pitch.... STRIKE ONE! Frustrated that he could not make contact with the ball, he readied himself for the second pitch...... STRIKE TWO! Angry with himself, Moose waits for the pitch....POP UP TO THIRD.
And that, friends, is what happens when you give a Moose a bat.